Spoiler Review: God Bless America
by Randee Justus
Warning: The following review is more of an opinionated recap. Do not read this if you haven't seen the film as it doesn't so much contain spoilers as it is a description of the entire film. And it's funny.
Thank you - Management
So there's this guy, and his neighbors are total assholes, like they always have TV up really loud and their stupid baby is always crying. So then this guy, the main guy, he imagines that he goes over there and murders all those motherfuckers. But he doesn't really. So the the next day he goes to work and everyone is talking about this kid who had a mental disorder who was on this show that is supposed to be American Idol and they were all making fun of him and it was all over TV and the internet and everyone is just making fun of this kid. Anyway, so he goes to work and everyone is laughing about this kid, so he gets to talking with this guy and it's mostly a one-sided conversation about how horrible the world is and stuff, but the other guys doesn't really care, 'cause he's kinda young and is exactly what this guy thinks is wrong with the world and whatnot. So then his bosses call him into their office, and they are all talking about how he was harassing this girl at the front desk because he sent her flowers when she was having a bad day, so they fire him. Then he steals his neighbor's car and goes to kill this girl that was a total bitch and was on that Sweet Sixteen show. And then this other girl who went to school with that bitch was like "OMG! You're so cool! Let me join you and we can kill people who do little things that bother me, like high-fiving and that say 'the man.'" And he was like,"No, those people don't deserve to die." Then they go to this thrift store and she's like asking him if he thinks she pretty and if he would ever be interested in her. And it's just like, bro, you're like twelve and he like fifty... Eww. So he's all,"No, I'm not a pedophile." And then she gets mad, but then they're friends again and they go to a movie and they shoot a bunch of people for talking during the movie and then when they go to their hotel room the news was all blaming it on the violent nature of the movie where they killed everyone. And the girl was talking about how Alice Cooper basically influence all forms of music and how you don't "like" him, you accept him. Like he's god or something... Then they decide to kill this guy who is supposed to be Bill O'Reilly and they shoot him in the park and the girl was telling him what an ass he was and he called her a Femi-Nazi.... Funny. Anyway. So while they're staying at this hotel the guy sees on the news that the girl he was with has been reported missing by her parents, who seem really nice, which is not what she told him. She told him that her mom was a crack-whore, and that her mom's boyfriend rapes her every night. But that's just not the case. So he kills this guy that was being a dick in the restaurant and he takes his car and he gives the girl the keys to the other car and tells her to get the fuck out. So she does. So then he goes out and buys this gun, I think he got the AK-47. It was pretty pricey. So then he goes to the studio place where they film the American Idol show and he is holding like everyone hostage. Then he tells the camera that he was doing this so people would stop being mean and that people made fun of that kid to the point where he wanted to kill himself. But then kid was there because they felt bad that he tried to kill himself, but the kid says that he only tried to kill himself because they were going to take him off of TV. And you're just like, fuck you, bitch. Then the girl is back and the guy hands her a gun and they just start shooting up the place and the cops shoot them and it's all in slow motion and cool. It was pretty good, but it makes you feel bad about yourself... Moral of the story: Don't be a dick!
