This Coleslaw Archives: Welcome to the Jungle (2007)



Movie Review: Welcome to the Jungle (2007)
By Tucker Battrell

Two young couples embark on an ill-advised expedition into the jungles of New Guinea after they hear tell of a seventy year old white man sighting. They believe this is the long lost Michael Rockefeller, son to Nelson Rockefeller who disappeared over forty years ago and some speculate is still alive. Unfortunately for these treasure seekers all that awaits them in the jungle are blood-thirsty cannibals.
Welcome to the Jungle springs from a string of films made in the seventies and early eighties featuring tribes of cannibals attacking intruders and eating their flesh. These films have recently been enjoying their cult status with several being released on DVD and the granddaddy of them all Cannibal Holocaust (1980) released uncut on DVD and toured around the country on the big screen. All of these films, and Holocaust especially, gained notoriety and underground popularity due to their cheap look which gave some of the better ones a documentary realism, and more importantly these movies were loved for their sometimes shocking and repulsive gore. This film is hoping to find itself in the company of these films, but unfortunately it's not in the same league as Cannibal Holocaust.
The film is shot in first person on two video cameras. This mock documentary style is directly lifted from Holocaust although the delivery seems heavily influenced by The Blair Witch Project (1999). The characters are unlikable, and almost all of their actions are completely infuriating and irrational. I wanted the cannibals to eat them to shut them up. The problem with this movie is that none of the scenes leading up to their deaths are either interesting or believable. If I believe these are real people actually having these conversations I can invest in them and not spend the entire running time wondering when the cannibals are going to show up. There is much prelude to the actual show and none of it amounts to anything. The search for Rockefeller is obviously just a reason to get these characters into the jungle to be eaten and it is not interesting enough to distract the audience from what it knows is coming.
When the cannibals do finally appear, I must admit there were a few moments where I felt uneasy and a little worried. The first few silent appearances of the natives are unsettling and it made me wish the whole movie had been that effective. As far as the gore goes, it had its moments, but is nowhere near as startling as its predecessors in the cannibal genre. There is a major gory set piece that was so blatantly inspired by Cannibal Holocaust that it wasn't even surprising. This film spends so much energy aping other films that it doesn't find time to be its own. There is nothing original here, nothing shocking, nothing powerful or disturbing. That of course does not mean that I didn't enjoy it. I was entertained. Not extremely entertained, but it passed the time and there were a few moments that caught my eye, so it wasn't a complete waste. But if I ever want to watch a cannibal movie I won't be reaching for this one.

Grade: D+
Entertainment Value: C

This Coleslaw Archive: Cannibals (1980) aka Mondo Cannibale



Movie Review: Cannibals (1980) aka Mondo Cannibale
By Tucker Battrell

There has been a pretty high bar set when it comes to this string of cannibal tribe films. Ruggero Deodato's iconic Cannibal Holocaust will always be the high water mark with its over-the-top gore and actual animal killings. Mondo Cannibale director Jesus Franco says in an interview on the DVD for this film that he thought Cannibal Holocaust was too obviously fake and lingered on the gore too long which made it look all the more counterfeit. This could be a valid criticism if it weren't for Franco's own film. To get things started our hero is on a boat in the jungle where we get some foreboding talk about the journey and then a shot of an immobile, incredibly fake crocodile. It could have been a fake alligator, I'm not sure. I'm not Steve Irwin. That is the scary opening. Our hero is going on an expedition and his wife and young daughter weasel their way onto the boat. I'm still willing to suspend my disbelief at this point, but then a "native" starts climbing up the side of the boat. He seems to be white and appears to be wearing a wedding band. Then another "savage" boards the boat and while he has face paint on, I can still see his mustache. They attack the hero's wife and eat her. This is where I have a problem with Franco's remarks concerning Deodato's film. As soon as the cannibals start eating her, we are treated to long slow motion shots of them ripping apart steak after steak and it goes on and on and on. It doesn't look real. It never feels real. The cannibals don't even look authentic.
The hero escapes after having his arm chopped off and his daughter is kidnapped by the tribe and worshipped as the "White Goddess". Apparently our hero has amnesia and a gigantic fake arm stump, and after many years gets his memory back in a flash and realizes that he must go back and look for his daughter because he believes she may still be alive. That's really all there is to it. It's a terrible movie with a hilarious lead performance by Al Cliver as the one-armed hero. The only way I can sum up the feel of this is to say that it seems like a home movie some kids made in junior high. The jungle doesn't even look authentic. It looks like a park or something. A palm tree grove perhaps. This one may be better for laughs, but if you want to see a disturbing, realistic cannibal movie (and who doesn't?) then seek out Deodato's classic Cannibal Holocaust.

Grade: F
Entertainment Value: C+